Grandad Poems

1.
He filled his pipe diligently
and smoked outside belligerently
The air was perfumed, floridly
with foreign swear words – learnt at sea

2
He took his falsies out at night
And smothered them in Vitalite
When he couldn't see at night
he didn't need a butter knife-
his midnight toast tasted alright
thanks to his pre-buttered bite

3.
Deep inside his potting shed
With giant headphones on his head
They told him he would catch his death
He didn’t hear them, he was deaf